All of Us – #136

Fr. Larry Lisowski Immaculate Conception St. Joseph Parishes Catholic Church in Chicago

Forgiveness is the Key to Freedom

Lent is a perfect time to look at our relationships. Some might be good and strong, and others perhaps broken and in need of fixing. This is a good time to humbly ask for the Holy Spirit to help repair what is broken. Without forgiveness our relationships come to a halt. We get stuck when things don’t get resolved. There is no future until an apology is offered and/or accepted. 

I came across a good article about forgiveness in the February issue of “The Word Among Us.” (Lent 2016, Volume 35, Number 3). In this Jubilee Year of Mercy, let us pray for those in need of healing and peace.

Healing and Mercy

We live in a fallen world; it’s inevitable that we will get hurt and that we will sin against other people. But in the midst of these “givens,” we still have choices. We can allow these hurts to bind us up and control our thoughts and actions, or we can ask Jesus for the grace to be as merciful as he is.

Jesus knows how painful our inner wounds can be, and he knows how they can affect our behavior. But he still asks us to forgive. That’s why one of the things he loves to do for us is to offer healing from the painful memories of the past. He loves to take away the hurts so that we can grow in our compassion and our ability to forgive people. Let’s take a look at how we can begin to experience his healing power.

“How Can I Do This?”

No matter who has hurt us—a family member, a friend, a co-worker, or a neighbor – we all face the same fundamental question: “How am I going to deal with it?” Time may help to reduce the pain, but time without grace can also lead us to push the pain deeper into our hearts without any real resolution. That may help, but when something is suppressed like this, it can still influence us, often without our recognizing it.

Our own efforts to forgive those who have hurt us should be applauded. Plus, the love and compassion we receive from friends and family can certainly help the healing process. But only Jesus can give us a kind of peace that the world cannot give (John 14:27). How good it is, then to know that Jesus is eager to heal the deep wounds that reside in our memories.

Look around you. Think about the people you knowwhether they are close friends or casual acquaintances. So many people are carrying around the burdens of their painful memories. So many married couples are finding it difficult to stay together. So many children are estranged from their parents. Relationships at work or in our neighborhoods can be easily strained. And none of these includes the pain and trauma suffered by those who have been physically or emotionally abused. There is just so much hurt in the world!

But do not lose hope! No matter how difficult things may appear, God is still able to bring healing and restoration. It doesn’t even take great faith. All we have to do is be willing to come to him openly and honestly and ask him to heal us, and he will begin the process that will make us whole. We have to come to him first, but once we are there, he will do the bulk of the work. 

Healing may happen all at once, or it may unfold over a period of time. Either way, when we ask Jesus for his healing touch, we will feel his presence. And knowing his presence, we will trust that he is at work in us. 

Below, we have sketched out one approach to healing that has been very helpful when members of our staff have given retreats or parish missions. As you read through these steps, know that they are not hard and fast. They are only suggestions to help you come in touch with the Lord. Remember, he is the healer, not our efforts or our strict adherence to one method. The key is to come to Jesus and ask him to shower us with his grace.

One: Share Your Story

While healing is something deeply personal between you and the Lord, it usually helps to have some support and encouragement along the way. This could be your spouse, your parish priest, or a good friend. Of course, if the burdens weighing you down are very deep, you may want to talk to a trained counselor – especially one who shares your faith.

Begin by sharing your story. Recount what happened and share how it is affecting you. This can be difficult. Reliving a hurtful experience – especially describing it out loud – can bring back painful memories. But we found that this is an important step because healing grace is often set in motion as we bring our pain into the light. In fact, we have seen many people experience dramatic healings simply by sharing their stories.

Once at a parish mission, a woman came to ask for prayer. She had gone through an ugly divorce a year earlier, and while she had gone to Confession, she was still plagued with the feeling of guilt and shame over her failed marriage. A couple on the mission team listened carefully as she shared her story. Then they prayed with her for about an hour, and she gradually felt God’s healing power. As the couple prayed with this woman over the next few nights of the mission, she began to feel a mountain of guilt dissolve from her heart. While the reality of her divorce will never go away, this woman experienced Jesus removing the pain and sense of failure that had haunted her for so long.

Two: Pray

After you have shared, its time to pray. Have everyone present hold hands or place their hands on your shoulder. It is amazing how affirming and healing something as simple as physical touch can be. It tells you that you are not alone. It tells you that there are people around you who are supporting you and praying for you. 

Remember that you don’t have to use special words or go into great detail as you pray. All you have to do is say something like this: “Jesus we know you are a great healer. Please come and heal this memory, and fill us with your peace.” Repeat these words, or variations of them, a few times, slowly and prayerfully. Try to place yourself in the hands of Jesus, and put your trust in him.

Three: Picture Jesus

As you are praying, picture Jesus coming into the room and joining you. Imagine him laying his hands on you, holding your hand, or putting his arms around you.

Ask Jesus to go back in time with you to remove the pain caused by the hurt. Now, imagine the other person coming into the room—the one who hurt you. PictureJesus forgiving that person – along with yourself. See him looking into that person’s eyes with love and compassion. See how he is pouring out his healing grace over both of you so that the pain is removed. Imagine him bringing the two of you together.

As you pray this way, you may find yourself asking for forgiveness or see the other person asking for forgiveness. You may feel a rush of peace or an outpouring of love. It’s amazing. It’s powerful. It’s God’s grace at work.

Healing Leads to Mercy

Praying for inner healing is both simple and effective. Not only does it open us to the power of God to heal our wounds, but it can make us more merciful. Unhindered by the past and released from the chains of resentment, we find ourselves free to relate to people as Jesus would. We also find ourselves treating those who have hurt us with the honor and respect they deserve as children of God. 

This Lent, let us ask the Lord to heal the wounds that linger in our memories. Let us tell him that we want to show mercy and forgive people, just as our heavenly Father forgives us for the ways we have hurt him.

 

Lenten Confessions

Saturday, March 12th
4:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m./Immaculate Conception

Sunday, March 13th
9:00 a.m. - 9:30 a.m./Immaculate Conception
10:30 a.m. - 11:00 a.m./St. Joseph Churc

– Fr. Larry